Destination or Destiny?

Coming to live in a foreign place raises many questions. There are the obvious ones like how do I get around, where do I go for things, how will I meet people, etc. But on a deeper level there are other questions like: why am I here, what am I hoping to get out of this, how will it change me? Is this a destination or is it destiny?

One of the things that has been nice about meeting this new group of women is that it provides a sense of affirmation, you learn pretty quickly that you are not the only one who contemplates these questions and you get new perspectives on the meaning of this crazy journey that we all have in common.

As mentioned in my last post, each of my new friends has a different story, different motives for being here, different plans for the future. I have heard theories on what drives people to come here: is it a need to change the lives they had or escape them completely? Living here has been described both as living in limbo and as selling your soul. Limbo because in many ways it doesn't feel entirely "real" and selling your soul because you have willingly walked away from family, friends and the comforts of home, which can be a pretty big sacrifice.

These conversations have been very thought provoking for me. Early on when asked why I was doing this, my somewhat flippant response was "because I can!" While on the surface this is certainly true, I feel there must be more to it than that. Yes, I had always dreamed of living in Europe for some length of time. And yes, I was in the ideal position to do it now because I am not tied down by anything and am doing work that can be done from virtually anywhere. But underneath the overconfident "because I can!" was the much less certain "really, can I?"

Maybe this was a test for myself to see how far out of my comfort zone I could go. Maybe I was bored on some level and needed to mix things up. Maybe hitting 40 without hitting some of life's milestones created some sort of urge to flee: "Well she isn't married and doesn't have kids but look! She's having fabulous European adventures!"

I am having some fabulous European adventures and my hope and plan is to have several more before I go home. Living someplace totally unfamiliar is far from boring and does provide plentiful opportunities for mixing things up. As a result I’ve shaken myself quite substantially out of my comfort zone, which ultimately may be the best part of all of this.

Is this a long-term proposition? At this point probably not. Based on the how I'm feeling right now, the idea of this being a sort of limbo seems a little more on target. The idea of selling your soul probably resonates more with those who are here indefinitely or who are deeply involved with Italian men. For them it may be destiny, forces either deeply subliminal or outside of them entirely that led them to this place and time.

For me, this experience may end up as a destination in the metaphorical sense. I have been able to answer my own question “really, can I?” with a resounding, “yes, I can!” I have gotten to another place and how it changes me and shapes my destiny has yet to be seen.

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